In 1918, the Spanish flu ravaged the world’s populations. It killed 50 million people and infected 1/3rd of the human race. Fast forward to 2020, and we now have another new flu that’s causing unprecedented damages. At the time of this writing, it has taken nearly 80,000 souls. While this dangerous virus continues to spread, we would all do best to remain inside our homes. But doing so comes with its own share of risks. Particularly, when it comes to sexual health.
THE PROBLEM AT LEVEL ZERO
Look at those virus strains. They party day and night, while we remain secluded. They progress towards world domination, while we regress towards negative growth rates. Underneath the ruin lies the problem that we feel most strongly. The problem of social isolation. Humans instinctively resist isolation. Evolution knows it’s not good for us. Even those of us who require more space than others resist the idea of complete isolation. But thanks to Covid-19, we have no other choice. With no clear pattern to its madness (yes, even young people are not 100% safe), it has gripped the whole world with palpable fear. Not a single country has enough hospital beds should millions get infected. Not India. Not China. Not even the United States. Thus, we face isolation on a level that’s never been seen before. Just count the number of memes and you’ll get a clear sense for the magnitude of this isolation. Although we consciously try not to think about it, our evolutionary instincts feel the damage. Thus, we all wake up in the morning feeling slightly on edge, for seemingly no reason.
THE NEED FOR VARIETY
It wasn’t long ago that doordarshan was our only entertainment option. Compare that to the modern world of Netflix, Youtube and Spotify, and suddenly you love wifi more than your own mother. Such is the standard of variety in this day and age. Still, leave it to Corona to make us all think we’re bored, because although consumers have so many options, nothing makes up for the lack of humans on the market. Now, when it comes to sex, we’re talking about couples (except for threesomes and orgies, but those are rare). So you might think that those who have partners don’t struggle with isolation. What you’d be missing is that they are stuck with human doordarshan. This lack of variety hurts quite a bit. We may not consciously realize it, but our instincts feel it, just like they feel isolation. As a result, we encounter cognitive dissonance when we look at our partners. A sense of disharmony in our attitudes towards them. On the one hand, we feel love because we appreciate their company and, on the other hand, we feel hate because we want them to study the wall for at least some time during the day.
DESPERATE TO COPE
Many of us have felt the need for a cheap thrill. For some, that cheap thrill is a heart-pounding mystery movie. For some, it is a tub of the most sinfully calorific ice cream. For some it’s taking pictures. Everybody has their own thing. But again the options have reduced. Even those with the money to avail more expensive options — like skydiving, racecar driving or buying something fancy — are largely left without them. In the end, the companion who is locked inside with us has to provide the thrill, even if they don’t have the energy for it.
I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO! SEX!
Sex is definitely a cheap thrill. In fact, it may be the best cheap thrill of them all. But at this point, it’s not just a fantastic thrill. It’s also a “necessity” in order to get through the day. Enter unsafe sex.
Now rushing into sexual excitement without due regard for safety measures poses physical as well as psychological risks. Some obvious physical risks are pregnancy, extremely poor genital health (sexual organs need more cleaning than other parts of the body in general) and hormonal imbalances (which can lead to infertility in both men and women). People are starting to ignore even the most basic contraceptives. Instead, they’re putting dangerously high doses of oral contraceptives into their body. Also, contraceptives are not the only thing to worry about. For example, in women, excessive sex causes the urethra to swell up, which, in turn, causes a rather painful condition known as “honeymoon cystitis.” Similarly, men can have erectile dysfunction, among other potentially severe issues. Once these problems occur, they are very difficult to reverse. They can compromise the quality of your sex life for a very long time to come.
As for psychological risks, they are multifaceted and many. To start you off on a simple example, consider a couple who is strained because one of them takes “too many” pictures. Now, bear in mind that this would not have been a problem before quarantine. Back then, the irritated partner could have simply gone out to get some space. Like this example, there are several others, many of which involve quirks that were labelled as “cute” when both partners could go out. The term “silly problem” has lost all meaning. Why we’re mentioning this is to give you a sense for the gravity of tensions in these times. Desperation merely puts the thought of unsafe sex on your mind, but it takes a certain level of disregard for your partner’s safety to start acting on the thought. Such disregard sets in because of troubles that didn’t used to be troubles. The aftermath is, well, liberties being taken too far, because once trust is established and the love-hate intensifies, many dangerous behaviors get entirely overlooked.
SUMMARY
The Covid-19 situation has taken the world by storm. It is a one of a kind situation that has never occurred before. The unprecedented nature of the shock has left us with challenges for which there is no evidence-based advice. However, those of us who work in the mental health arena can share our own observations. Some trends that we notice with many of our clients. We hope this information can help you stay safe during this crisis. Both physically and psychologically, and as always, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at bythepeepaltree@gmail.com or +918123238452 for any questions or concerns.
About the authors
Samarth P Shetty
Samarth is an MA psychology graduate from IGNOU. He has worked for over 12 years in many specialized areas such as LGBT+ counselling, rehabilitation therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. Currently, he practices mainly as a life coach, but occasionally ventures into other modes of service such as seminars, workshops, and internships. He also participates in outreach programs for LGBT rights, sexual health awareness and gender equality.
Kunal Roy
Kunal is an MA psychology student at IGNOU. He has survived many mental illnesses and spends much of his time creating awareness in the field.
By The Peepal Tree 